Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hard time....

Well since the last time I've blogged it has been an emotional rollercoaster. The last 2 rounds of clomid have failed. On my third and due to start Sunday and do I do not feel pregnant so I am expecting and preparing to start my period again. This week is also my sweet baby's due date. Miss my angel more than I could of ever imagined, I've even been dreaming of them more...
Work has been EXTREMLY hard. I am seriously thinking of changing my career that I have wanted for so long and worked so hard for. But constantly working hard to give people the one thing u can't have is hell. There has been so many patients with my babies exact due date and I can't help but hate them for getting to hold their healthy baby in their arms.
I have decided that if I'm not pregnant this month I am taking a break for the holidays so I can enjoy the precious miracle baby boy that I already have. Anyone else ever take a break for the holidays??
My brother is coming for thanksgiving and I am excited but dreading it... The day that I started my period last month my SIL announced she is having a girl. I'm happy for them, but don't understand why done people just get to send their requests to God and get exactly what they want...she had already announced on FB that they will have as many children as needed to have a girl. Any tips on how to get through them being here for 10 days without bursting into tears every second??
Well see where we go from here, I have been keeping very busy with my family. We've been taking my son away somewhere every weekend I have off, and he has been having a blast:-) so thankful I have him... But secondary infertility is more painful than I could of ever imagined..thank u for your advise and reading this:-)

1 comment:

  1. thinking of you. the holidays are hard enough as it is, I would do whatever makes things easier on you. Cl.omid is awful for hormones/mood swings anyway and then getting to see people who are pregnant is just a gigantic stab. I can't imagine how work must be every single day. Can you guys take a vacation to get away from it all for a while? It took us 3 years to get a viable pregnancy after my daughter and I think there were 4 kids born on my husband's side. it was awful for me.