Carson and I had a beautiful morning at a new park. We are loving this weather here(we are in Missouri and it's been a bitter, cold winter) I love that my job allows me to be a stay at home mom 4 days a week. It felt so good to get to start being a mommy again and not have to be sitting in the couch because I was in so much pain from cramping, I am feeling mire like myself. Although even still at out beautiful play date there was a mom who had a kid carsons age and was pregnant, I heard her friend ask how she was doing and she remarked that she is due in august so of course she will be miserable all summer, I have to admit a little part if me wanted to give her a slap in the face, I would give anything to be "miserable" this summer with the baby I lost. But of course I just ignored the comment and went on playing with my little man, he is truly a blessing.
Last night Carson moved into his big boy bed, and a little part of me is so sad because I always thought we would need the crib for another baby by the time he moved out of it. The original plan was to move the big boy room to the guest bedroom and keep the nursery intact for the next, but I can't bear to keep the nursery empty and look at it everyday so the crib will be going into the shed and well hope we will have to get it out in a little bit. Maybe it will help me getting all the baby stuff out of the house. Thanks for reading:-) and I love comments, so nice to know I'm not alone in this.
Glad you're healing physically and that you get to go out and play with your little one :)
ReplyDeleteHa! I want to slap myself for any whining I do now, especially knowing how long it took to get here again.
It's the women who have no trouble conceiving/carrying to term that I want to smack :) they have no idea how blessed and easy they have it...
*also, when I was struggling ttc #2 (after my first loss) I found it was so hard to find another secondary infertility blog where the woman wasn't pregnant or hadn't had a baby. If you need help finding one let me know. I know how hard it is to be struggling and not having any blogs where the woman/couple/man aren't in a similar situtation
I have to agree with with Melis.sa...it is hard to find secondary infertility blogs of people who are still struggling. I'm here...still struggling six years, five failed IUIs, two failed IVFs, and three losses. I am glad to see you enjoying your son, especially after a long winter! Spring is in the air...(although here in Western PA, the high today is 35...I'm sooo done with winter!!!)
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